I'm a planner g
irl. I do not like interruptions. I like a good road map to my goals. But what do you do when those things go differently than expected? Especially when the steps to your path are out of your control.
Last spring on a whim I tossed in
an application for a dream show of mine, The Smoky Hill River Festival in Salina, KS. Growing up nearby, the competitive high end artwork combined with the nostalgia of my childhood made this show one I always hoped to participate in. I was humbled and honored to make
it in to the show. It went wonderfully and the weekend of people, good food, live music and delightful conversations made me rethink my previous hiatus from big shows.
Fast forward to this year and I tossed in on three major shows. Smoky Hill and two other regional shows. I honestly assumed I would make at least two and knew I would have to work my rear off if I made all three. I made none. None, y'all. I opened two "you've been waitlisted" emails and one rejection letter. It was fun. It was not.
As I wrestled with the what next and what's wrong and what to do differently, I had a new
opportunity I have honestly thought about as long as I can remember--to buy a downtown building. Things seemed to be aligning for a brick and mortar store in my community and I was over the moon with excitement and anxiety. Suddenly the rejection all made
sense as I could not imagine prepping for shows, spending on a high end tent and being going for several weekends while simultaneously building a new storefront and all that entailed. I had a name, a plan, even contacted several people I hoped to bring on board with my new idea.
And then the unexpected hit again. The building needed a new roof. We could not find an agreement on that financially with the seller and as suddenly as the opportunity presented, it slipped away. Not after taking about 6 weeks of headspace, planning, etc.
So now here I am at the end of May. No building. No shows. A blank slate of plans.
Gut wrenching honesty, it sucks. But it also doesn't suck forever. I'm learning how to pivot and roll and shape things as I go. Part of me is still disappointed and I can waller in that like a pig in the mud but when I choose a birds eye view, part of it is totally freeing.
I'll have more hours pool sitting with my kids and exploring Kansas,(truly a wonderful state) than tearing out bad carpet and organizing contractors. I'll have more time in my studio to play with ideas and see them out rather than trying to figure out new business plans. I had been stockpiling funds for renovations and could cut free of some of them for some new tools.
I honestly can't say "and this is why all that crap went down this spring!" and I have no idea if I will ever be able to say that. But sometimes the unexpected happens and you can pivot or run into a wall. Last time I hit
a wall I broke my nose. Literally. While basketball (or any sport for that matter) has never been my thing, pivoting can be learned and practiced. And it's less hard than hitting a wall.
xo,
Jilli